Author: Jason Dombrosky

I spoke to your dog, he said he will bite me. He doesn’t know why you never tell anyone. And he actually wasn’t abused before you got him…he just never learned manners.

I spoke to your dog, she doesn’t think we need to pass my treatment plan by her breeder either.

Oh-she’s already on speaker phone listening…

I spoke to your intact female cat, she’s not in pain, she’s horny. Stop bringing her in to the emergency clinic.

I spoke to your “feral” cat, you have been feeding her for 6 years and she sleeps in your garage- she’s yours.

I spoke to your dog, he ate some bad chicken-your neighbors aren’t poisoning him.

What’s going on between you and your neighbors?

I spoke to your dog, he’s dealing with raging pancreatitis…forget the nail trim that you are so concerned about.

I spoke to your dog, he asks to call before you give a random mix of medicine cabinet vomit drugs. And for God’s sake enough with the essential oils!

I spoke to your dog, he eats poop. It’s because you kiss him on the lips. He said he will stop if you stop.

I spoke to your dog, he said to quit changing his food…he’s sick, and that’s why he’s not eating. He would eat dog poop on a normal day!

I spoke to your dog, it’s 1am, you said this just happened. He said it’s been going on for 2 weeks. The cat verified it.