It’s always interesting when people ask, “what kind of dog should I get?”. Quite frankly I am probably the worst at identifying breeds of dogs. I tend to lump them into categories based on how they act overnight in the hospital.
The first category being “you will bark all night”
This category includes: all white dogs under 10lbs, German Shepherds, Huskies, any dog named Gucci, Princess or Precious, and always without fail the dog that the owner claims is perfect away from home.
The second category is the “I won’t pee outside, but will act like a psycho with a garden hose when you get me back in the cage”
This group that the nurses love includes: all dogs over 80lbs (they typically have had knee surgery and don’t want to walk), German Shepherds, and all little dogs where the owner claims they have a “command” that you need to use outside for them to pee.
The third category- “cage jumpers”
This is a sneaky group, again we find our friend the German Shepherd, death wish breeds like Pugs and Bulldogs (they don’t even have any face to soften the blow), and the purse dog (tiny Chihuahua that lives in a designer handbag).
The final category, we will just call “poop painters”
This is an extensive group- most dogs for that matter, they all seem to have their own unique way on taking a dump, pacing through it, and finding some way to get it all over you. We had a phone a work somehow get tangled into a real stinky mess one night.
So when asked what dog to get…
Get a cat.